Positive Deviance

I got my soldier today!! I was super excited. I sent her an email right away (I had to think about it for a bit) and I plan to send a lot more snail mail letters. I've learned all about sending packages through USPS. I've recruited my whole family and some of my friends to help me make care packages for this soldier. I'm so excited. The things she needs are very basic - underwear, toiletries, normal people food. I hope to send her some lotions and candy as well, and maybe a little gift if I can pull it off.
This is positive deviance because I am essentially (planning on) sending a box full of goodies to a random stranger. She deserves it, though. That much is certain. I haven't even done anything yet and I already feel the warm fuzzies! :)

Positive Deviance

This weekend, I adopted a soldier. This is deviant because most people don't know much about the troops or don't interact with them much. I wouldn't normally do something like this because I'm not 100% comfortable writing to a random person; what if my soldier's got mental problems? But I'm glad for this project because it gave me the confidence to go ahead and do it anyway. I should have my soldier within seven days. I can't wait to start writing to him or her! Personally, I hope it's a guy, but it would still be very interesting talking to a woman.
This deviance is positive because my letters and potential care packages will make my soldier happier. I can't write about my own feelings or reactions because I haven't yet started communicating with my soldier. But I'm very excited. The soldiers do so much for us. I hope I can make one's day.

Gender in the Media

1. My gender role is challenging (read: terrifying and impossible) because the media insists women be perfect! Teenagers must always look like they're having fun, must always be wearing beautiful clothes, and must have perfect friends. I never really noticed before, but I definitely try to mold myself to the media's pictures of perfection. The gender role is challenging because it's slightly difficult to be perfect; there's only so much you can do to "fix" your physical features.

2. I dunno. I guess in the media you always see teenagers looking happy or fierce or strong...the anorexic, disappearing mute girls are only in the crazy fashion magazines. I think it's not a bad thing to have "happiness" or "strength" as a part of your gender role because those are good qualities. Of course, you could always make the case that nothing should be part of your gender role because the media should not be deciding how we live and act and perceive ourselves. But if anything, a message of strength is a push in the right direction.

3. Society says jacked, tough men should love thin, beautiful women. Men should wear button downs and ties, drive a Lexus or expensiver, bring home at least 80K, and dominate his wife and family. Women should be thin, wear dresses, be good chefs, care for the kids, and listen to their men.

Maybe I'm being too blunt, cos that's a little primitive-sounding. But no matter what, you always see the man with the big muscles and the woman in the dainty dress. It's hard to get away from and it's hard to challenge. It's the image that I've been taught is "right" and that makes it harder to accept someone telling me that it's the wrong ideal to strive for.

From Cradle to Grave

Oh my gosh, I can't believe they got me!
I have always wanted to be RICH when I'm older, not a doctor or astronaut (although now with college plans rolling around, I'm thinking a little differently).
I can't believe how shamelessly the marketing happens. I'm also grateful to my mom for making sure I never developed an interest in watching television...
The video we watched showed me how real the marketing is. It's all true. Kids don't play outside much anymore, all they want to do is look like Miley Cyrus. It sucks that kids are losing such important things just because some guy wants to make money. It's shameless.
It used to be the parents' job to instill values but now there's just no time. They sit their kids in front of a TV and let it do all the teaching.
The worst part is that I see the effects in the people around me today. Some people can't go a few hours without being online, looking up their favorite TV shows. Or they can't sustain conversations because they're not used to interacting with real people. Or they're not creative because the toys they've been sold have always done all the talking. It's all true and it's the past, present, and future, unless we do something about it.

Neighborhoods

I've never really thought about how lucky I am to live in my neighborhood. My families have two parents, there is low crime, excellent schools, expensive houses, and lots and lots of college degrees. I always knew that these variables affected quality of life, but I never bothered figuring out how.
We learned that degrees will live close to each other, in wealthy neighborhoods because they have more money from their jobs and want their kids to go to better schools.
The same religion often sticks together - although the United States is overwhelmingly Christian, so that's kind of a given. The same ethnicities stick together - it's true in New York and Chicago, it's true in Harry Potter, and it's true in suburban neighborhoods.
What really surprised me was that the rate of single parent homes is directly related to crime even in children who live with two parents. I never thought about the implications of them having friends who get half the supervision. And there's always that saying - it takes a village to raise a child? Well, if it was a village of single parents, there would be half as many people, half as much supervision, and, at a stretch, half as much discipline in the children (apparently though, crime actually increases at 3% for every 1% increase in single parent homes, so a town made of entirely single parents would have 300% the crime).

Good Parenting

I think the most important part of good parenting is that parents have the correct reasons behind their actions. For example, giving your kid a weird name because you think he'll need it to be "unique" is bad, because you should be teaching him to stand out in countless other ways. But giving your kid a weird name because you read it in a book once and the main character changed your life, or something like that, is a very legitimate reason. It shows that you put a lot of faith into who he's going to become.
Likewise, if you protect your kid from strangers because you know someone that's been abducted, it's fine to be a little paranoid. But if you live in a safe area and you insist your kid talk to no one and not go outside, that's bad.
"Being yourself" is a tough one, because you wanna tell kids as early as possible to be independent and to make choices with their own heads, but that's a lesson that takes years and years to learn. Is it bad to start early? Does it backfire? Perhaps. This is probably one of those things that makes parenting hard. Though I wouldn't know.

I did agree with the article that excessive praise is bad. This is probably because I know way too many people who "avoid academic situations that present any kind of challenge and refuse to see the value in any activity that requires effort". Praise should be given only when it is deserved so that people can learn the value of hard work.

Tuesdays with Morrie

I cried SO MUCH during this movie! I suppose you really get a lot of epiphanies when you're about to die. And you do a lot of reflecting. The question that struck me the most was the one asking if Mitch would have listened if Morrie wasn't dying. I think that yes, a person's death amplifies their words because you know that they have to choose their breaths carefully. You know that the fact that they're spending those minutes to share something with you is HUGE and that you have to value it and really take it to heart. You also know that nobody is going to try to trick you when they're about to die. They're going to be honest; they're going to tell you nothing more or less than the truth.
I liked Morrie a lot because he had obviously lived his life exactly the way he wanted to. The dancing convinced me of this. If you're 60+ and you actually dance, you must really be happy.
I also liked how he seemed to know everything and how he wasn't afraid of talking about anything. I wish I had someone who would come up to me and tell me everything I was afraid of and exactly how to fix it.
The hardest piece of advice Morrie gave was to keep the bird on your shoulder. I know that if I had a bird on my shoulder, I would not be spending quite so much of my time working and doing homework and sitting inside with my textbooks. But at the same time, I don't know what I'd be doing.